The Great Pyrenees...

...is a dignified and noble breed.

Cone Boy From Outer Space

And Q-Tips, And LP Covers, And...

5 things that should go in my mouth...

1. Empty toilet paper rolls

2. Plastic CD cases

3. Little Black Thing's head

4. Television remote controls

5. The shadow of a Jack in the Box antenna ball on a 2001 Corolla that I mistake for food every night on my walk. Every. Single. Night.

And The Oscar Goes To...

Dear Human Mother,

Well, you've done it again, haven't you?

This would have been a semi-cute little video if you hadn't accidentally leaned up against the light switch in the middle of it and plunged us into darkness. Thanks for that. Good thing it only took you about a day and a half to realize what had happened.

And I was this close to getting my SAG card. Nice work, Scorsese.

Love,
Tango


(Dear Tango,

Well, excuse the hell outta me. I can't help it if my upper arms are wide. I'm pretty sure most of it is muscle, really. And so what if I got a little confused and thought we had a power outtage. Just in the bedroom. There's no reason to be mean about things. I mean, seriously, were you hoping to win the Oscar for Best Performance By A Wildly Flailing Front Leg? Come on now, I totally saw you break the fourth wall at about 34 seconds in...

Oh, and by the way, Mr. Brando? The inside of your mouth? Is a less than appealing scent for Luggy's head. So there.

Love,
Human Mother)

This? Is Why I Loathe You...